Thy Faithful Penguin

Thy Faithful Penguin

This is how I am.

This is how I want to be.

You can never change me.

So, you somehow stubled on my site. If you want to take the risk, take a look around. Read some poetry, read my journal, whatever. Just don't send hate mail!

I haven't wrote in a while, & a lot has been goin on! for one thing, I've been goin out w/ a blck guy for a week now. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met! & he's...well...built....lol but hes so great & the last note he gave me almost made me cry! My mom did make me cry though....she's not exactly happy w/ the thought of me being more than friends w/ a black guy! (my whole family would be upset....REALLY upset!) & she sounded like she was going to cry or something b/c she was saying all this stuff that could happen to me like rape & ect....MONTY ISN'T THAT WAY! he's about the best guy I've ever been w/ & I really like him...a LOT! I know she doesn't like it, but I like him & I'm not gonna just sit back & let her control my life! if I break up w/ him just b/c of my family, I might miss out on the best time of my life! so, yea, anyways, ttyl

My internet just got turned back on...YAY!!! I'm watchin chinese dudes on the olympics...idk why but I love watchin the chinese pplz...but anyways, yea. I started school last wednesday! its a LOT smaller than sapulpa, but I guess its not too bad. my favorite class would have to be DRAMA! woot! I'm a drama nerd! lol its great...especialy since this Nathan guy is in there....Nathan is...well...;D!! he was mean to me today...he was all like "what are you lookin at? you wanna take this outside?" & the funny part about that was that...well, we WERE outside...he's a dork...but hes a hot dork so its all gravy! he kept starin at me & being mean to me...so I guess he was sort of flirting w/ me...& that is TOTALLY ok w/ me cause well....hes hot! I can't stop thinking about him...but yea, anyways, I g2g!

its been a while since I wrote! this was my first week all summer not babysitting & school starts in 5 days! the kids I babysat moved to stilwater b/c their parents split up & I stayed the night w/ them the first night they stayed w/ their mom...I couldn't fall asleep b/c russell was snoring! I wanted to go slit his throat after about an hour! but I didn't....then friday last week, the last day I babysat, I met the guy that I got my puppy from...his little bro & sister were playing w/ raeanna so he decided to come over there too...he walked in the door & he was so freaking hot!!!!! I looked at him & I couldn't hardly breathe! I felt so stupid...but he was sitting there & kept saying "shes hot!" & stuff like that but I ignored him cause I kept thinkin there was no way he was talkin about me & then he went in the bedroom w/ ethan & russell & I heard him sayin "thats your babysitter? shes fuckin hot!" I was like omg....then I found out he wasn't as old as he looked....hes like 14 0r 15! HE LOOKS @ LEAST 16 OR 17!!!! it was SO not fair! but thats all I can think of to talk about for now, so ttfn!

I got....chickens....they're funny like a bunny! but I had to change my puppy's name to trixie b/c my cousin's baby's name is sadie....& right now I'm remembering really hurtful things that were said to me by a certain person who seemed like her main goal was to choke every bit of confidence from my thriving soul....

I GOT A PUPPY! shes a mix between a beagle & austrailian sheperd....pretty much, shes an austrailian beagle...shes really cute tho! I named her Sadie! sadie hawkins dance, & my khaki pants, theres nuthin better, oh! oh! oh! (sadie hawkins dance, relient k) but anyways, not much to say....

Wow. My brother got married yesterday! Its kinda hard to believe....The rehearsal was friday and Melissa & I thought it wouldn't be too fun w/ Jesse's dad's family being there, but thank God Worth was there! yea, his name is Worth....Becca's cousin from Iowa...he was an usher in the wedding. He had to pretend he was ushering in people b/c they weren't there...so I started makin fun of him & the imaginary people...it was funny cause he just went along with it! Then, at the spagetti warehouse where the dinner was, everyone who helped w/ the wedding got a present & guess who came in the place w/ a present w/ MY name on it? the imaginry people person! so anyways, the next day Melissa & I got up @ 6am to get ready & leave to help set up the reception hall. We got there, decorated tables, & I ended up ridin back to the church w/ Janet (Becca's sister) & Worth. We had to stop at walmart to pick up a basket for the flower girl, so I had to tell them how to get there...we were in sapulpa-where I lived for 13 yrs! so anyways, we got out of the car, and the exact second Worth shut his door, a car alarm went off the next row over! it was so funny...we blamed it on the imaginary people! I told them of my many memories of the booty as we walked by the fish section on the way to the bridal junk, then we passed my all-time-favorite section.....the automotive.....theres just something about the smell that gives me peace like nothing else....lol but anyways, we got back to the church & waited for the wedding to start. I passed out programs, and some old lady said, "Well, you definately look a lot prettier than you did yesterday!" I was like ok....is that a compliment? oh well...& my cousin's wife gave me a pair of non-perscription black rimed glasses, & as soon as I put them on I started getting compliments by various guys! It was kinda spooky...like dookie... We finally got to the reception, which was REALLY boring until I got to cut/serve cake w/ Melissa! I got icing all over my dress...black dress+white icing=not good! After that was finally over I got asked to dance twice...the first time by one of the caterers who was Jesse's friend...his name was Kraston or however u spell it...he was really nice...& then I danced w/ Worth...hes like...26! but I KNOW theres pics of me & him...dang it! oh well! it was fun! We stuck around until Brandon & Kraston left (they're both culinary pplz who are Jesse's friends who were the caterers) & right before they left I got blamed by both of them for checkin out kraston's butt....which I was NOT doing! He said he was scared that if Jesse found out, he would beat him up! I don't think so...of course Jesse is a little protective every now & then...lol I'm just wondering if he'll say anything to me when they get back from Cancun!!!

Today around noon the kids I babysit went to their neigbor's house to go swimmin...so of course, I had to go w/ them...I talked to Clayton the whole time & realized hes not half as annoying as he used to be! He's accually not that bad for a fat boy! lol no, hes cool for a FRIEND! nuthing MORE! but I ended up walkin over 1 1/2 miles to find some horses & riding the way back bareback...then I loped & it was fun cause it was like skipping! and I'm gonna make Flip ride a horse someday...if he likes it or not! he keeps calling me a cowgirl...POOP ON YOUR HEAD! anyways....

My mommy picked up sammy from the vet...he was walkin really funny...lol but you can tell hes in pain after gettin fixed & the fish hook that they took out of his mouth...hes really happy to be home though!

I didn't get told I wasn't sposed to babysit today....I got there & they were like....u don't need to babysit today...but oh well! I went to tulsa today to help my dad get stuff to build a chicken pen...cause we're gettin chickens! its funny...but we got home @ about noon & realized my cat sambo had a fish hook in his mouth! we took him to the vet & got him fixed while hes there.......he made me cry a few times but we'll pick him up tomarrow...he'll be kinda sore...

Hmmmm.....I popped a bunch of fireworks that didn't belong to me.....besides that nuthin happened!

Today I went shopping for somethin to wear to my bro's wedding....I finally found a dress @ hot topic! when I was at the mall tho I saw Taylor (who plns on pouncing on me, hugging me, marrying me & then dominating the world...) anyways, I saw him but I didn't talk to him...which made me mad & I wanted to cry!!!!!!!!!

Talk about ironic! This guy named Clayton that I went to school with until after 8th grade...well, I hated him. He annoyed the POOP outa me! In fact, hes the reason I quit band! Yes, I was once a band nerd. But anyways, I moved here after not seeing him for 2 yrs & thought I was finally far far away from him. I recently found out he lives 3 1/2 miles away from him...he lives next door to the kids I babysit! It's no fair!!!!!!!! And I was also told by pooterbutt "Hey Amber! Rieley says he wants to stick his pecker in your hole!" it was....not something I really wanted to hear...I was like, "Your sick! Both of you!" they both like me...rieley is like...11 & pooterbutt (russell) is 14!!!!! but anyways....moving on...

Hmmm...I'm sitting here ranting about Flip to Danny...it's kinda wierd but I guess I gotta get it out before I go COMPLETELY insane! idk...he just makes me feel something no one else does! Its not fair! He sits there confusing me (purposely of course) so bad that I want to cry & then he's just cracking up! He makes me so mad I just want to beat the crapola out of him!!! but the worst part is that no matter how much I want to I can't stay mad at him...I don't get it! I can't deny it...I've liked him since we first started talking 2 yrs ago & every time I talk to him its like I feel even more than I did before! Its so confusing!

Wow. Today had a few full moons....just not the kind I wanted to see! Memo to self: don't let clayton come over when babysitting! Yea...hes this guy who lives about 3 1/2 miles away from me, next door to the kids I babysitter....and he moved here close to a year ago from sapulpa which is where I just moved from...he's a grade below me & I haven't talked to him in like over 2 yrs...but yea....ANYWAYS....I'm so bored! I miss Flip! he's working at some church camp this week....I miss him. yep. I could say more, but I will refrain!

Today was a little....idk. Right now I'm preaching & being mad at Flip cause I want to talk to him & I have no clue where he is! I might call him in a while....we'll see! I got my cousin wearing my clothes....all black w/ bondage straps & everything! its great! but thats it for today!

ITS ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my beautiful site is alive!! Igor....wait, n/m, I have no assistant! anyways, yea...the site is up! WOOT!

Dude. Today was kinda sucky. I mopped, cleaned 2 different bathrooms, got a bucket of water dumped on me...I was wearing a white shirt! I got hit in the side of the face with a rubber ducky so hard it left a HUGE red mark for almost half an hour, then I got a big thorn stuck up under my fingernail that hurts like hell! Its too deep to get it out, so I have to wait for to get all icky and festery & stuff so I can pop it out...WOOT.

Today was pretty boring....I got attacked by little kids, nearly hurled cause they kept jumping on my stomache, got a headache from the little girl's high pitched squeel, and REALLY wished their older brother was there to help me!! I rode a horse....besides that all I did was wash and fold laundry.

Today I was babysitting (that's my job) and Rieley, the middle of the three kids kept calling the police! I'm surprised they didn't show, cause he kept screaming in the phone, asking if the knew the muffin man, whispering "help me", reporting false car-jackings, ect.... It really kinda sucked. I was so close to beating him! oh well! anyways, thats it for today!